Who we are
We are a group of people who have found emotional and physical release in cutting, scratching, burning, picking, hair-pulling, cuticle shredding, and other behaviors that cause injury to ourselves. We engage in these behaviors because we crave the release they bring and have not yet learned the skills to process our emotional experiences in a more constructive way. There is no typical type of person who engages in self-injury, but many of us are self-described “people pleasers” with a tendency to act one way and feel another. We generally blame ourselves for our problems and find it difficult to forgive ourselves for our scars. Although the ‘addiction’ that we identify is not the dependence on substances that members of other fellowships seek out, we suspect that there are neurological and chemical phenomena at play when we self-soothe by injuring ourselves at times of intense emotional distress. As we tell our stories and start to heal, many of us go through a phase of heightened anxiety, feeling the loss of our self-injurious habits as a loss of relationship with some “other.” There is great relief in sharing these reactions to healing, and those of us who have been “free” for a sustained period enjoy a sense of identity that is stable and healthy. Listening to those who have achieved real liberation describe the peace they have found in the program inspires us to continue on the difficult road to recovery.
Who we Are Not
We do not self-injure because we are trying to end our lives. We don’t get sexual satisfaction out of self-injury or consider self-injury as an art-form. Although we tend to come from families and environments in which there are certain kinds of problems, and although we believe that recognizing these early patterns is an important part of our recovery, we are not focused on blaming others. We believe that each of us has a choice and can, with help, find freedom from self-injury and alternative ways to deal with interpersonal pain.